UNDERSTANDING YOUR BODY

A series of changes in your body is a sign of your entry into a new phase of life - adolescence.

An awareness of these changes will give you a better understanding of adolescence and sexuality.

This section answers questions on virginity, infertility, breast and penis size, erection and ejaculation, wet dreams and circumcision.

1. What is virginity?

Virginity is the state of never having had sexual intercourse.

2. How is virginity lost?

Virginity is lost at sexual intercourse, which is the penetration of the vagina by the penis.

3. Is virginity lost through “fingering” or petting, masturbation, gymnastics, biking, etc?

No. Such activities may merely stretch or rupture the hymen, which is a thin piece of tissue that partially blocks the entrance of the vagina. Therefore, a girl may still be virgin although her hymen has been ruptured. This also means that she may still be a virgin even if she does not bleed during her first sexual intercourse. Some virgins may have ruptured their hymens through some way other than sexual intercourse.

4. Is there a way of telling if a person is no longer a virgin?

There is no foolproof way of determining virginity. A person cannot tell if a man or a woman has ever had sexual intercourse simply by looking at him or her or even during lovemaking.

5. What is infertility?

In a man, infertility is his physical inability to father a child. In a woman, it is the physical inability to conceive a child.

6. What causes infertility?

Infertility can be caused by physical factors. In a man, it could be due to his sperm not moving on its own once inside the vagina, or its immature development, or its being produced in insufficient amounts. In a woman, it could be due to her Fallopian tubes being blocked or inability to ovulate.

7. What is the treatment for infertility?

There is no one treatment that cures all kinds of infertility. The first step is for both the man and the woman to undergo a complete evaluation of their medical histories and series of tests. Once the problem has been identified, the doctor will devise and discuss a treatment plan with the couple.

8. What can be done to increase or decrease the size of the breasts?

Breast size is determined by heredity. Exercise, age and posture may affect the appearance of the breast but will not significantly affect a person’s breast and fatty tissue.

Breast size does not determine the amount of milk a woman can produce for her babies. Neither does it determine one’s capacity for love or sexual enjoyment - factors far more important in a relationship than mere breast size.

9. What is the average penis size?

In Orientals, an erect (hard) penis averages four to eight inches in length, although there are many exceptions. Measurement are taken from the pubic arch (called symphysis pubis) to the tip of the penis. Thus, thickness of fat between the bone and skin may affect the functional size of the penis.

Penis growth is most rapid during puberty and is completed at the end of the pubertal stage. The rate of development, however, varies from person to person, and it is possible that for some boys development starts at age 16 or 17.

There is usually no basis for undue concern over penis size. Being warm, responsive person is far more important than having a big penis.

10. Why do boys get erections?

An erection happens when blood fills the soft, spongy tissue in the shaft of the penis, causing the penis to enlarge and stiffen.

Many things can cause an erection, especially in an adolescent boy: thinking about sex, touching the penis, or having someone else touch it. An erection can also occur for no obvious reason and in unlikely places, such as in class, while riding a bus, or in a swimming pool. Often, boys wake up in the morning with an erection. This is because erections are part of the Rapid Eye Movement stage or the lighter stage of sleep, which occurs repeatedly during sleep. A full bladder brought about by several hours of not being able to urinate while one is asleep may also be a contributing factor.

11. What is a wet dream?

The male body continuously produces semen from the start of puberty. Thus, if a man does not masturbate or have sexual intercourse in his waking life, his semen will eventually be ejaculated during sleep, often during a dream about sex. This is called a “wet dream” or “nocturnal emission”. It is a normal experience for all males. However, if masturbation or sexual intercourse is frequent, wet dreams do not usually occur.

12. What is the semen?

The semen (sometimes called ejaculate or “seed”) is normally full of sperms - small swimming half-cells that look like active tadpoles under a microscope. While there are millions of these half-cells in the ejaculate, it takes only one half-cell (a sperm) to unite with another half-cell (The egg released by a woman’s ovaries every cycle) to begin the life of another human being.

Semen has nothing to do with the urine even though the two traverse the same passage through the penis.

13. How long do sperm cells and egg cells live?

The average life span of a sperm cell in woman’s body is from 48 to 72 hours. The average life span of an egg cell is 24 to 48 hours.

14. Can urine be ejaculated instead of semen during sexual intercourse?

No. When the penis is erect, there is a built-in valve which switches the plumbing from “urine eject” into “sperm eject”. The same mechanism that prevents urination during erection also prevents erection during urination. That is why it is difficult to urinate during an erection and, conversely, why an erection is lost during urination.

15. When do boys start ejaculating?

Boys start ejaculating shortly after they start producing semen and a certain amount of semen has accumulated. This stage can be anywhere between ages of 11 to 14.

16. When does a man stop ejaculating?

There is no definite time or age when a man stops ejaculating. However, the amount of semen produced and the frequency of ejaculation tend to lessen with age.

As long as he is reasonably healthy, a man will continue to produce semen throughout his life. This semen will have to be ejaculated either through sexual intercourse, masturbation or wet dreams.

17. What is circumcision?

Circumcision is the cutting of the foreskin, the fold of skin that covers the head (glans) of the penis. It is often mistaken for castration that is the removal of testes or testicles.

The operation is quite simple. It can be done under the proper surgical conditions or in folk manner in the Philippines.

It is usually done at the beginning of adolescence as sort of puberty rites.

18. Why are boys circumcised?

The primary reasons for circumcision are religious and cultural. Most Jews and Moslems, for example, have their male children ceremonially circumcised to comply with religious and cultural beliefs that have been handed down for centuries.

The other reasons for circumcision is cleanliness: to prevent the accumulation of smegma (a white, cheesy secretion which gathers under the foreskin) which may lead to irritation, infection, or offensive odor. However, the accumulation of smegma, which is a natural secretion from glands in the head of the penis beginning at the puberty can be avoided simply by moving back the foreskin and washing the area daily.

Most Filipino males prefer to be circumcised to avoid the teasing and speculation that inevitably come to those who are not circumcised. “Supot” is a term used to describe uncircumcised males here. They become the butts of jokes, the myth being you can smell an uncircumcised male a mile away.

19. Does circumcision affect a boy’s health or the rate of his growth?

No, not at all.

20. Does circumcision affect a man’s sex life?

No. Circumcision has no bearing on sexual excitement, erection, the ability to reach orgasm, or the ability to have a satisfying sexual relationship. Although a circumcised glans is always exposed, it is not necessarily less sensitive than an uncircumcised one.

21. Is pregnancy possible when the man is uncircumcised?

Absolutely, circumcision has nothing to do with ability of a man to make a woman pregnant.

THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

Menstruation marks the transition of a girl into a woman. With menstruation come a woman’s realization of her reproductive capabilities and the significance of her role as woman.

The menstrual cycle is a topic of interest for most adolescents. This section deals with this concern and clarifies misconceptions on menstruation.

1. What is menstruation?

Menstruation is the periodic discharge of blood and water-like fluid from the uterus through vagina. Menstruation begins during puberty, ceases temporarily during pregnancy and ends at menopause. On the average, approximately 35 ml. Of blood and other fluids is discharged during menstruation.

2. What is the menstrual period?

The menstrual period is the number of days a girl menstruates.
The average menstrual period lasts from four to five days, others for as long as a week.

3. What is the menstrual cycle?

The menstrual cycle is the number of days between to start of each menstrual period.
During this cycle, a series of changes takes place in the female reproductive organs in the absence of pregnancy. The changes lead to menstruation or menstrual flow.

The changes include 1) the ripening of an egg, 2) its release by an ovary (ovulation); 3) the gradual thickening of the lining of uterus, and 4) its eventual shedding off the thinning if the egg is not fertilized.

4. Do all girls have the same menstrual cycle?

No. The menstrual cycle of most girls is about 28 to 29 days. The menstrual cycle of the other girls can run from 20 to 35 days and still be considered normal.
The cycles vary from girl to girl and from cycle to cycle.

5. Why does one’s period sometimes come late or skip a month?

One’s emotional state, or change in one’s routine may affect the menstrual cycle. The menstrual period comes regularly when one’s body adjusts to its cycle. A doctor should be consulted if one’s periods continue to be irregular two years after onset.

6. At what age do girls begin to menstruate?

Girls may begin to menstruate as early as nine years or as late as 16. Most girls menstruate when they are about 12 or 13. It is advisable for girls who have not menstruated by 16 to see a doctor.

7. Why do some girls start menstruating sooner than others do?

The growth process differs from person to person. Some girls mature physically earlier than others do. Menstruation usually occurs after breast begin to develop, hair appears on the pubic area and under the arms, and the vagina discharges a whitish fluid.

8. At what age does menstruation stop?

Menstruation usually ceases during mid-40s or 50s. This is called menopause. It marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years.

9. What is premenstrual tension?

Premenstrual tension is a syndrome (a group of signs and symptoms) that occurs at the same time about a week before the onset of menstruation.

The physical symptoms may include abdominal bloating, weight gain, puffiness of the hands, and swelling and tenderness of the breast. Nervous symptoms such as tensions, fatigue, moodiness, weepiness, irritability, depression, and restless activity occur because of these body changes. The tension state usually ends at the onset of menstruation.

Medication administered before a week onset of menstruation may be helpful in the management of the syndrome.

However, women do not experience premenstrual tension the same way. Some women experience all these symptoms. Others experience only some of these symptoms or none at all.

10. Is it all right to take a bath during menstruation?

It is perfectly all right to take a bath during menstruation. In fact, it is a good idea to do so for hygienic purposes.

11. Is it bad to eat sour food while menstruating?

No. Sour food has no effect on one who is menstruating.

12. Is it all right to make love during menstruation?

It is all right to make love during menstruation. No harm will come to you and your partner. However, it is important that both partners are comfortable about making love during this time as in any other time.

13. Is pregnancy possible for a girl who has sex before her first menstruation?

No. The reproductive organs of a girl are not fully developed before she experiences her first menstruation. The chances of pregnancy at this time are one in a billion.

LET’S TALK ABOUT MASTURBATION

The sexual activity most commonly engaged in by young boys during adolescence is masturbation. However, it is rarely talked about. Thus, needless fear, guilt and anxiety are often attached to it.

The questions and answers in this section range from the definition of masturbation to the morality of the practice.

1. What is masturbation?

Masturbation is self-stimulation for sexual pleasure. It may or may not result in orgasm. It is a common practice particularly in adolescence.

2. Do girls masturbate?

Yes. However, researches indicate that more men than women masturbate.

3. Is there such thing as masturbating too much?

Masturbation is self-limiting. One will stop masturbating if he feels his tensions has been relieved, or if he feels tired after doing it. No physical or mental harm has been shown to be caused by adolescent masturbation regardless of its frequency - unless it is compulsive behavior.

4. If one sometimes prefers masturbation to intercourse, does it mean one is strange or sick?

Not necessarily, if it is not a permanent and stable attitude, and if it is not performed habitually. Masturbation may be a symptom of a problem when it is performed compulsively, or when one cannot resist doing it to relieve psychological or sexual tension, and when one prefers masturbation to having sexual relationship with others.
It is advisable to seek professional help if one masturbates compulsively.

5. Is masturbation harmful?

As in ordinary lovemaking, the only after-effect of masturbation is a feeling of sexual relief and relaxation. It is not known to lead to serious physical or mental illness, or sterility. Neither does it lead to hairy hands, falling hair, mental retardation, abnormal children, etc. These myths may be partly due to centuries of religious and cultural beliefs that view masturbation as sinful, and harmful.

6. Is it okay if I don’t masturbate?

That, too, is perfectly all right. A great deal has been said and written in favor of masturbation in the last few years merely to counteract centuries of misinformation and guilt. No harm will come to person who chooses not to masturbate.

7. Is masturbation sinful?

The Catholic Church recognizes that the sex drive awakened in adolescence is very powerful and often leads a person to masturbate. However, masturbation is viewed by the Church as wrong use of the sexual organs or an imperfect use of sex, and is therefore considered sinful.

The Church holds that masturbation is an activity over which an adolescent should develop control. The desire may be natural, but the act is deliberate and can be controlled.

Some quarters believe that masturbation inhibits emotional and psychosexual development because it keeps one from relating with others. Others choose not to focus on the question of morality and instead would rather find ways of helping an adolescent adjust to his emerging sexuality.

There are other religions, which shares a stand of the Catholic Church on the question of moral aspects of masturbation. However, there may be those which differ in their opinions regarding this matter.

WHAT ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY?

The turning point that is adolescence is when we become fully aware of our roles as men or as women. However, there are those who sexual roles are not clearly defined.

This section aims to provide adolescents with a better understanding of homosexuality.

1. What is a homosexual?

A homosexual is a person who is attracted to and prefers to have sex with members of his or her own sex. Effeminate or masculine mannerisms or interest however, do not necessarily indicate homosexuality.

Although the term homosexual is now widely used for men and women, the word lesbian is used to describe women who prefer women to men as sexual partners.

2. What causes homosexuality?

There is very little agreement on the origins and causes of homosexuality. Some researchers maintain that it is a condition one is born with, that it is genetic or due to a hormonal imbalance or some other inheritable factor yet to be identified. There is, however, little evidence to support these theories. Other maintains that it is more a question of nurture than nature i.e., like factors like childbearing, a traumatic experience with the opposite sex, or a strong peer influence contribute strongly to the development of homosexuality. The truth is to date, we do not know for sure whether homosexuality is inborn or if it is acquired and, if so, how and when.

3. What are the different kinds of homosexuals?

The overt or out-and-out homosexuals do not hide his homosexuality and displays this speech, behavior, and dressing.

The covert or “closet” homosexuality hides his homosexuality behind a mask of masculinity or femininity.

The situational or substitute homosexual resorts to homosexuality only because no partner of the opposite sex is available. This kind appears most often in prisons, exclusive schools for boys and girls, dormitories, etc.

The exploratory homosexual engages in homosexual behavior that does not last for long. People who engage in this kind of homosexuality can usually revert to heterosexuality quickly, easily, and painlessly.

The bi-sexual, commonly known as “silahis” in our society, engages in sexual activities with members of both sexes.

4. Does having a crush on a person of the same sex mean one is a homosexual?

Not necessarily. This merely a phase most adolescents go through. The fear that one may be a homosexual because of warm feelings for a member of the same sex is one of the most common fears of adolescents.

There is no need to worry about having crushes on teachers, movie stars or other authority figures of the same sex during adolescence. They may possess qualities which one admires. This may help one to discover what one would like to become.

5. What does one do if he is sure he is a homosexual?

If one is not comfortable with his homosexuality or is encountering difficulties because of it, it is best that he seek the help of a competent well-trained counselor. An effective counselor may be able to help one sort out his feelings and change his feelings if he wishes to overcome his homosexuality, or help him achieve self-acceptance if he does not wish to change.

6. How do homosexuals have sex?

Homosexuals can and do anything and everything heterosexuals do - except penile-vaginal penetration - with as much caring and joy or as much rancor and pain as heterosexuals.

7. Is homosexuality bad?

The scientific and psychological attitude towards homosexuality is changing. Health professionals per se no longer consider homosexuality a mental illness by health professionals.

The religious view of homosexuality is also changing. The official Catholic teaching is that homosexuality must be viewed with understanding because individuals are not to blame for circumstances which make them homosexuals. However, the Catholic Church does not approve homosexual acts. The church still considers homosexuals acts unnatural sexual behavior because the ideal form of sexual expression is between a man and a woman who are married to each other.

Some theologians have also begun to consider heterosexual and homosexual physical expressions without love as sinful and physical expression with love between two people, whatever their, as moral.

There are other religions that share the stand of the Catholic Church on the moral aspect of homosexuality. However, there may be those which differ in their opinions regarding this matter.

It is therefore best to seek counsel or advice from a priest, a minister, or some other qualified person with whom one can discuss questions of this nature extensively and completely.

Answers to Those Sex Questions. Population Center Foundation for the National Population Program, Philippines. 1986