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JULY 2010

News and Features

GIRL TALK

Ever aspired to be an icon?  You don’t have to appear in the society pages to be one.  Take on these strategies and you’ll be stellar in no time.

You’ve seen her: That girl who everyone’s heard about – in a good way.  She gets the right attention, but looks at ease in every situation.  She’s the one who people seem to look up to, the girl who everyone wants to be friends with.

And so you ask yourself:  Can I be that girl? Yes.  We all have the potential for greatness.  Each of us can live an extraordinary life – or simply be extraordinary.

What does it take to be propelled to “It Girl” status?  It’s the little things that count.  Read on and find out:

1. Be an “I Can” Girl.  “Kaya yan ng powers ko,” is Susan’s soft-used phrase.  So whenever there;s an emergency event, meeting, date, or get together, Susan, 25, a media coordinator, is always prepared for battle.  Her best best weapon? Her quick thinking and gameness.  “Sariling diskarte” is what celeb and It Girl KC Concepcion calls it.  When she hied off to Paris to study, there were times that she fel ill, got homesick, and even subsisted on tap water and bread.  Yet she chose to stay, eventually auditioning for parts in plays and gaining new friends, and blooming in he new home.

Do it now: Set aside your qualms and say yes to things you normally wouldn’t do. “Go ka lang ng go, fight lang ng fight,” says Kathleen, 30, an external affairs officer.  “Otherwise, opportunities that can propel you to success might pass you by.”

2. Re-define Flexible. Maarte doesn’t belong in an It Girl’s vocabulary.  She has mastered how to schmooze in a glitzy party one night and get down and dirty out on the field the next day.  So when people say, “Si (your name here)? Cowboy yan!”  Take it as a compliment!  Why is Actress Angel Aquino such a dream to work with?  Despite her stardom, she’s very “cowboy.”  She even went to a shoot sans entourage, clad in a simple mini and flip flops.

Do it now: Leave your fussiness at the door and learn how to “survive” anytime, anywhere.  Let people know that you can be counted and relied on – in any situation.  Try this: Mingle with as many people as you can, from all walks of life.  It’s crucial in learning how to deal with the various psyches – and ultimately adjust yourself to any person, situation, or scenario.

3. Master Magnanimity.  An It Girl is never stingy with genuine praise, giving compliments and credit where it’s due.  When gossip was rife about catfights going on between the Deperate Housewives stars, Eva Longoria passionately defended her costars, calling them the kindest, warmest people she has ever worked with. Cosmo icon Helen Gurley Brown in her book, Having It All, says: “As a boss, I know I am impressed when I compliment somebody on an idea or piece of work and they say, ‘Well, Barbara did that,’ or ‘Myra pulled it together.’  It just makes you think more of a person doing the crediting.”

Do it now:  We’ve been there – and felt that pang of jealousy whenever something good happens to a friend, a workmate, or a sibling.  Try to rejoice in your friends’ good news.  Just think: Being jealous won’t change anything – it’ll just hinder you from achieving the same on your own.

4. Be a Regular.  Ever witness someone waltz into a store and have people greet her as though they were long lost friends?  It Girls usually have regular haunts and favorite places where they know the salesperson, the barista, or the manager.  It’s a win-win situation:  You get loyalty perks like freebies and deluxe service, and they get your business.  Plus, it becomes a place where you are confident and comfortable in outside your home.

Do it now:  Choose a place where you’d like to become a regular.  If you have a penchant for coffee, hang out in your fave java spot and befriend the stadd.  Shop in a regular boutique, and you’ll eventually develop a relationship with the owner.  Knowing that you are being treated well in an establishment can do wonders to your confidence and your outlook – not to mention your social life!

5. Laugh at Yourself.  We’ve said it again and again:  Learn to laugh it all off.  It Girls seldomly take themselves seriously, and they don’t take anything personally.  TV host Toni Gonzaga, for instance, isn’t afraid to act goofy on and off screen.  ‘Wag nang dibdibin,” says Kay, 27, an entrepreneur who has to deal with scores of workers in her rattan business, who gives her a daily dose of complaints, rants, and what-have-you’s.  ‘If I took it all personally, I’d probably quit the business!”

Do it now: “Try to approach a single day without expectations,” advises Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff.  “Don’t expect people to be friendly.  When they’re not, you won’t be surprised or bothered.  If they are, you’ll be delighted.”  It’s easy for us to get depressed, discouraged, and masungit – once we expect that life is smooth sailin.  Live your day with an easygoing manner, take things slow and as they come.  “As you approach your day in this manner, you’ll notice how graceful life can be,” says Carlson.  “Rather than fighting against life, you’ll be dancing with it.”

6. Get Interested!  When Cameron Diaz was interviewed for the cover of GQ magazine a few months ago, the writer was taken aback when Cameron started asking questions about him.  The result, the Hollywood star became real and admirable.  It Girls see other people as rich sources of information and inspiration – and draw it out from them.

Do it now:  There’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself, but treat a conversation with someone as an opportunity to learn something from it.  Moreover, people love talking about themselves.  Probe, ask, do a mini-interview.  You’ll be surprised at the new things you’ll learn and the new people you’ll attract.

7. Take the Risk.  ‘Wag matakot! When Charlize Theron couldn’t get roles because she was deemed ‘too pretty,’ she took a risk and took on parts that made her appear ugly and grotesque.  The result?  She won a Best Actress Oscar Award for it in her movie, Monster.

Do it now:  Don’t let fear run in your life.  Fear, says John McGrath, author of You Don’t Have to be Born Brilliant, is a major blockage to success.  The result? “They either don’t start or don’t push themselves to the limit.” Stress fear, pain embarrassment, and apprehension are part of life, adds McGrath.  So forge on and just do it!

8. Develop a signature style. When you think boho-deluze, who comes to mind?  Actress Sienna Miller, who rocked the fashion world with her consistently charming bohemian get-ups.  You don’t have to be a celeb to be recognized for your own style. Whether it’s an accessory or a quirk, you become more memorable when you are identified with a certain signature look or attitude.  “I can never forget Rhoda because of her laugh,” says Nicoles, who met Rhoda, 31 (who does tend to laugh out loud and long) at a conference.  “From then on, she’s known in our circle as the gorgeous girl with the gorgeous laugh.”

Do it now:  Experiment! Do you have a vintage handbags fetish?  Are you all about bright tops? Are you a fan of someone’s look or attitude?  By all means, emulate them; t will soon grow and develop to be your own.  Plus, use this signature look to enhance your best features.

9. Simplify. You may think that an It Girls needs all the material stuff and creature comforts she can get.  On the contrary, an It Girl has already streamlines her life to make it “more efficient.”  When actress, icon, and new mom Gwyneth Paltrow decided to simplify and rid her life of toxins, she quit smoking, parties and junk food – the world was all the more fascinated with her.

Keep an uncluttered life – and you’ll find yourself with less stuff bogging you down and more physical, mental and emotional space to do more things.

Do it now: Survey your space at home and at work.  Most likely, you may have too much of something.  “The idea is not to deny yourself the things you don’t want,” explains Elaine St. James, author or Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter.

10. Think outside the cubicle.  Girls tend to look at things differently and unexpectedly.  If it’s a negative encounter for instance, they think positively about it.  Take actress Reese Witherspoon, who gamely wore the same Chanel dress to the Golden Globes – the same one that Kirsten Dunst wore to the awards night after-party three years ago.  When asked how she felt about the fashion faux pas, Reese shrugged it off good-naturedly.  See what others usually miss.  McGrath reveals that the world offers an abundance of opportunities – it just takes a certain frame of mind for you to take advantage of them.

Do it now:  Instead of treating new people as a distraction or disturbance, greet them “as a friend you haven’t gotten to know yet,” advises McGrath.  “See every meeting as though it will be a catalyst for something great.”  How to capitalize?  “You answer every call as though it could change your life – with enthusiasm, excitement and “It’s my pleasure’ attitude.”

“Just think,” McGrath says, “the next telephone call you take could be someone who could change your life – a new customer, an old friend, mentor, or even life partner.”

Published in Cosmopolitan magazine, May 2006 issue.