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JULY 2010
News and Features
GIRL TALK
10 Steps to Becoming an “It” Girl
Claire Betita-Samson
Ever aspired to be an icon? You don’t have to appear in the society pages
to be one. Take on these strategies and
you’ll be stellar in no time.
You’ve seen her: That girl who
everyone’s heard about – in a good way. She gets the right attention, but looks at ease in every situation. She’s the one who people seem to look up to,
the girl who everyone wants to be friends with.
And so you ask yourself: Can I be that girl? Yes. We all have the potential for greatness. Each of us can live an extraordinary life –
or simply be extraordinary.
What does it take to be propelled
to “It Girl” status? It’s the little
things that count. Read on and find out:
1. Be an “I Can” Girl. “Kaya yan ng powers ko,” is
Susan’s soft-used phrase. So whenever
there;s an emergency event, meeting, date, or get together, Susan, 25, a media
coordinator, is always prepared for battle. Her best best weapon? Her quick thinking and gameness. “Sariling diskarte” is what celeb and
It Girl KC Concepcion calls it. When she
hied off to Paris to study,
there were times that she fel ill, got homesick, and even subsisted on tap
water and bread. Yet she chose to stay,
eventually auditioning for parts in plays and gaining new friends, and blooming
in he new home.
Do it now: Set aside
your qualms and say yes to things you normally wouldn’t do. “Go ka lang ng go,
fight lang ng fight,” says Kathleen, 30, an external affairs officer. “Otherwise, opportunities that can propel you
to success might pass you by.”
2. Re-define Flexible. Maarte doesn’t belong in an It Girl’s vocabulary. She has mastered how to schmooze in a glitzy party one night and get
down and dirty out on the field the next day. So when people say, “Si (your name here)? Cowboy yan!” Take it as a compliment! Why is Actress Angel Aquino such a dream to
work with? Despite her stardom, she’s
very “cowboy.” She even went to a shoot
sans entourage, clad in a simple mini and flip flops.
Do it now: Leave
your fussiness at the door and learn how to “survive” anytime, anywhere. Let people know that you can be counted and
relied on – in any situation. Try this:
Mingle with as many people as you can, from all walks of life. It’s crucial in learning how to deal with the
various psyches – and ultimately adjust yourself to any person, situation, or
scenario.
3. Master Magnanimity. An It Girl is never stingy with genuine
praise, giving compliments and credit where it’s due. When gossip was rife about catfights going on
between the Deperate Housewives stars, Eva Longoria passionately defended her
costars, calling them the kindest, warmest people she has ever worked with.
Cosmo icon Helen Gurley Brown in her book, Having It All, says: “As a boss, I
know I am impressed when I compliment somebody on an idea or piece of work and
they say, ‘Well, Barbara did that,’ or ‘Myra
pulled it together.’ It just makes you
think more of a person doing the crediting.”
Do it now: We’ve been there – and felt that pang of jealousy whenever something
good happens to a friend, a workmate, or a sibling. Try to rejoice in your friends’ good
news. Just think: Being jealous won’t
change anything – it’ll just hinder you from achieving the same on your own.
4. Be a Regular. Ever witness someone waltz into a store and
have people greet her as though they were long lost friends? It Girls usually have regular haunts and
favorite places where they know the salesperson, the barista, or the
manager. It’s a win-win situation: You get loyalty perks like freebies and
deluxe service, and they get your business. Plus, it becomes a place where you are confident and comfortable in
outside your home.
Do it now: Choose a place where you’d like to become a regular. If you have a penchant for coffee, hang out
in your fave java spot and befriend the stadd. Shop in a regular boutique, and you’ll eventually develop a relationship
with the owner. Knowing that you are
being treated well in an establishment can do wonders to your confidence and
your outlook – not to mention your social life!
5. Laugh at Yourself. We’ve said it again and again: Learn to laugh it all off. It Girls seldomly take themselves seriously,
and they don’t take anything personally. TV host Toni Gonzaga, for instance, isn’t afraid to act goofy on and off
screen. ‘Wag nang dibdibin,” says
Kay, 27, an entrepreneur who has to deal with scores of workers in her rattan
business, who gives her a daily dose of complaints, rants, and
what-have-you’s. ‘If I took it all
personally, I’d probably quit the business!”
Do it now: “Try to approach a single day without
expectations,” advises Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small
Stuff. “Don’t expect people to be
friendly. When they’re not, you won’t be
surprised or bothered. If they are,
you’ll be delighted.” It’s easy for us
to get depressed, discouraged, and masungit – once we expect that life is
smooth sailin. Live your day with an
easygoing manner, take things slow and as they come. “As you approach your day in this manner,
you’ll notice how graceful life can be,” says Carlson. “Rather than fighting against life, you’ll be
dancing with it.”
6. Get Interested! When Cameron Diaz was interviewed for the
cover of GQ magazine a few months ago, the writer was taken aback when Cameron
started asking questions about him. The
result, the Hollywood star became real and
admirable. It Girls see other people as
rich sources of information and inspiration – and draw it out from them.
Do it now: There’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself, but treat a
conversation with someone as an opportunity to learn something from it. Moreover, people love talking about
themselves. Probe, ask, do a
mini-interview. You’ll be surprised at
the new things you’ll learn and the new people you’ll attract.
7. Take the Risk. ‘Wag matakot! When Charlize Theron couldn’t get roles because she was
deemed ‘too pretty,’ she took a risk and took on parts that made her appear
ugly and grotesque. The result? She won a Best Actress Oscar Award for it in
her movie, Monster.
Do it now: Don’t let fear run in your life. Fear, says John McGrath, author of You Don’t Have to be Born Brilliant,
is a major blockage to success. The
result? “They either don’t start or don’t push themselves to the limit.” Stress
fear, pain embarrassment, and apprehension are part of life, adds McGrath. So forge on and just do it!
8. Develop a signature style. When you think
boho-deluze, who comes to mind? Actress
Sienna Miller, who rocked the fashion world with her consistently charming
bohemian get-ups. You don’t have to be a
celeb to be recognized for your own style. Whether it’s an accessory or a
quirk, you become more memorable when you are identified with a certain
signature look or attitude. “I can never
forget Rhoda because of her laugh,” says Nicoles, who met Rhoda, 31 (who does
tend to laugh out loud and long) at a conference. “From then on, she’s known in our circle as
the gorgeous girl with the gorgeous laugh.”
Do it now: Experiment!
Do you have a vintage handbags fetish? Are you all about bright tops? Are you a fan of someone’s look or
attitude? By all means, emulate them; t
will soon grow and develop to be your own. Plus, use this signature look to enhance your best features.
9. Simplify. You may think that an It Girls needs all the
material stuff and creature comforts she can get. On the contrary, an It Girl has already
streamlines her life to make it “more efficient.” When actress, icon, and new mom Gwyneth
Paltrow decided to simplify and rid her life of toxins, she quit smoking,
parties and junk food – the world was all the more fascinated with her.
Keep an uncluttered life – and you’ll find yourself with
less stuff bogging you down and more physical, mental and emotional space to do
more things.
Do it now: Survey your space at home and at
work. Most likely, you may have too much
of something. “The idea is not to deny
yourself the things you don’t want,” explains Elaine St. James, author or
Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really
Matter.
10. Think outside the cubicle. Girls tend to look at things differently and
unexpectedly. If it’s a negative
encounter for instance, they think positively about it. Take actress Reese Witherspoon, who gamely
wore the same Chanel dress to the Golden Globes – the same one that Kirsten
Dunst wore to the awards night after-party three years ago. When asked how she felt about the fashion
faux pas, Reese shrugged it off good-naturedly. See what others usually miss. McGrath reveals that the world offers an abundance of opportunities – it
just takes a certain frame of mind for you to take advantage of them.
Do it now: Instead of treating new people as a distraction or disturbance, greet
them “as a friend you haven’t gotten to know yet,” advises McGrath. “See every meeting as though it will be a
catalyst for something great.” How to
capitalize? “You answer every call as
though it could change your life – with enthusiasm, excitement and “It’s my
pleasure’ attitude.”
“Just think,” McGrath says, “the next telephone call you
take could be someone who could change your life – a new customer, an old
friend, mentor, or even life partner.”
Published in Cosmopolitan magazine, May 2006 issue.
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